


Words Across the Millennia

by msraven



Category: The Old Guard (Comics), The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Enemies to Friends, Established Relationship, First Kiss, Found Family, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:07:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26582641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/msraven/pseuds/msraven
Summary: A series of conversations between The Old Guard...(Will be primarily Joe x Nicky centric)
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 14
Kudos: 77





	1. J/N - Words of a People

**Author's Note:**

> My series of TOG minifics originally posted on [my tumblr](https://msraven929.tumblr.com/tagged/minific) and posting here for better archiving.
> 
> Tags will be added or changed as I add chapters.

_"The love of my life was of the people I've been taught to hate."_

They had been traveling together for many months now, since they formed a tentative peace and walked away from a battlefield so littered with corpses that a single man was difficult to discern. The first week or so were spent mostly in silence. They did not know each other's language, so they settled for gesturing and play-acting to communicate. Words were not needed.

When they felt safer—from each other and the battle—the other man began to speak haltingly, testing words until he stumbled onto a few that Nicolò understood. Through stilted conversation, Nicolò learned that his companion was once a merchant and had an affinity for learning languages. Now their travels included the teaching and learning of new words, albeit at a much slower pace for Nicolò.

Despite their time together, it continued to vex Nicolò that he had not yet found the correct name for the people whose land he was traveling and language he was painstakingly learning. Every word he had attempted was met with confusion, a frown, or a shake of his companion's head.

"Then what should I call you?!" Nicolò finally spat that night in frustration.

"Yusuf," his companion answered plainly.

Nicolò opened his mouth to retort angrily, but was stalled at the look on his companion's face. He was not teasing. There was no mirth shining in his eyes. He only continued to look at him patiently, as if he were waiting for Nicolò to pronounce a new word he'd been taught.

Nicolò frowned in confusion and looked away. He did not know what he was supposed to learn, but he did know that his companion was never cruel when Nicolò was slow to comprehend. He turned back to see the same patient smile, but now his companion's eyes were filled with a deep sadness that pierced through Nicolò's heart.

Suddenly, as if a heavy veil had been lifted from his eyes, Nicolò understood.

The church had taught him to hate a people—heathens, infidels, barbarians—and that their destruction was willed by God. While Nicolò had learned many new truths since his first death, he had continued to view them as a people and not _people_ , not like him. Up until this moment, Nicolò was ashamed to admit that he had continued to view his companion as one of a people and not… Yusuf.

Yusuf, who was the first to offer a hand open in peace. Yusuf, who had taught Nicolò how to survive the arid desert. Yusuf, who was quick to laugh and befriend all the children of the villages they passed. Yusuf, whose hands were deadly with a blade and gentle with everything else. Yusuf, who looked at Nicolò as a friend.

"Yusuf," Nicolò finally repeated after a long beat of silence, the word imbued with both apology and a request for continued patience.

Yusuf's answering smile was like the sun emerging on a stormy day and Nicolò could do nothing but smile in return.

"Nicolò," Yusuf said softly and Nicolò heard the promise within. Other words were not needed.


	2. J/N - Words Better Unheard

Yusuf and Nicolò had been glad to find that the women spoke their common language, but now Nicolò wished he could not understand the words Andromache was saying.

"We’re not immortal. One day it just… stops healing. We’ve already lost Lykon and he was the youngest of us."

Nicolò could only stare, frozen in fear and barely able to take a breath. He only startled out of his stupor when there was a clamor beside him as Yusuf stood suddenly. Nicolò looked up at his friend, but Yusuf’s face was blocked by the shadows of the campfire. Yusuf turned and ran, away from the fire and away from Nicolò. He scrambled up to follow Yusuf, suddenly afraid of any distance between them.

"Yusuf! Yusuf, wait! Yusuf, _please_. I need you!"

As suddenly as he had fled, Yusuf returned and his arms went around Nicolò like a vice. Nicolò wrapped his own arms around Yusuf’s back and gripped him just as tightly.

"I cannot lose you," Yusuf nearly sobbed against Nicolò’s hair. "I cannot!"

Nicolò shook his head and pulled back far enough so that they could rest their foreheads together. "You will not," he promised.

Yusuf shuddered. "But they said—"

"It does not matter what they said! Our destinies lie together. I do not doubt it and neither will you."

Nicolò’s conviction seemed to calm Yusuf and they spent a long moment just breathing together.

"I believed we had forever," Yusuf said sadly.

"We are together," Nicolò responded. "What does it matter if it is not truly forever?"

"It matters because we cannot waste time."

Before Nicolò could ask what he meant, Yusuf tilted his head and pressed their lips together. Nicolò felt as if he’d been struck by the hand of God, for the pleasure instilled by Yusuf’s kiss could only be described as divine. He gasped and Yusuf used the opportunity to deepen the kiss. Nicolò pressed as close to Yusuf as possible, while the ecstasy of the kiss threatened to consume him.

They kissed until they had no more air in their lungs, and then parted only far enough to share a breath between them.

"I love you," Yusuf confessed. "I desire you for your friendship, your kindness, your entire being. I love you more desperately and more deeply than I ever imagined possible."

"I love you as well," Nicolò replied, laughing a little at hearing his own feelings mirrored. "I love you," he repeated as he kissed each of Yusuf’s cheeks, his eyes, and then his lips once again.

They laughed together, their arms wrapped around each other, giddy with common love they no longer needed to hide.

When the cold air finally reminded them of their distance to the fire, Nicolò gripped Yusuf’s hand tightly as they made their way back to the women. Before they reached their camp, Nicolò pulled Yusuf close once more and they shared another lingering kiss.

"No more wasted time," Nicolò promised.

"No more wasted time," Yusuf agreed.

Together, they stepped into the light and began their destiny anew.


	3. J/N & Nile - Words on your Behalf

Nile had been doing okay. She figured out early on that Andy was keeping them busy with training and jobs in an attempt to take Nile's mind off her sadness. This morning, however, she'd woken to the crystal clear realization that it was her brother's birthday. Now she was sitting out in the cold morning mist with an ache in her chest that wouldn't go away. 

She heard a small noise behind her, a purposeful drag of feet that were normally silent. In the next instant, Nile was surrounded by warmth as a heavy jacket was draped around her shoulders. The act felt like Nicky, but the jacket smelled like Joe, so she was not surprised when she looked up to see them both. Joe silently handed Nile a cup of coffee before they took seats on either side of her. 

They didn't speak as they each drank their coffee, the two men content to be a silent comfort, if possible. Joe and Nicky always seemed to know when Nile needed a laugh or a kind word or a shoulder to lean on. They never coddled her or treated her like a child. They challenged her to be better and faster as she fought, but never pushed harder than she was capable of. Nile realized that she already loved them and it helped ease the ache in her heart. 

"Today is my brother's birthday," Nile said softly.

"Ah," Joe breathed, more of a sigh than a word. "Our hearts always remember the special days. The calendars have changed, but I still know my sister's birthday is in three weeks."

"The twenty-third," Nicky added. 

Nile's gaze bounced back and forth between the two men as if she was watching a tennis match, before it settled on Joe. 

"You have… had a sister?" Nile asked. "Andy said Booker was the only one with family."

"Booker was the only one who ever tried to stay with his family," Nicky clarified. "I had no family to return to, but Joe's sister was luckily far enough away not to be caught up in the fighting."

Nile looked back at Nicky and heard Joe stand.

"I think we need more coffee," he said and headed back inside. Joe returned with the carafe, refilled their cups, and sat back down next to Nicky. 

"My sister was many years younger than I and I doted on her as we grew," Joe explained. "But it was not easy or fast to travel back then. By the time Nicky and I came to terms with our immortality and made peace with each other, my sister's children already had children of their own."

"But you did go back?" Nile pressed. 

"Yes," Joe nodded and then turned to Nicky with a smile. "It weighed on me, not knowing her fate and Nicky convinced me to go back even if I could not risk showing myself as who I really was."

"What happened?"

"She was happy, but poor, and I learned that she still spoke fondly of me, her grief heavy for the brother she lost. We resolved to give her some money to ease her later years and possibly ease some of her grief as well."

"How?" Nile asked. "You couldn't go see her."

"I could not, but I could send my heart in my place," Joe responded. 

Nicky rolled his eyes fondly at Joe's words. "I disguised myself as the son of a soldier saved by Joe. I was able to speak of how Joe fought fiercely and tell her he didn't suffer when he died. I told her that his last thoughts had been for her and that he'd implored my father to send some of the treasure he'd earned in battle. I like to believe her heart was lighter when she embraced me in thanks."

"You gave her closure," Nile whispered, mostly to herself. 

She thought about the letter Copley sent, which told her family a fake story about how Nile had been part of a secret mission that resulted in her death. It made her a hero instead of a deserter, but the letter would have been cold and impersonal. Then Nile imagined Joe telling them about her bravery with a voice imbued with warmth and feeling, Joe giving her brother soft words of encouragement, and Joe enveloping her mom in one of his amazing hugs. 

"Could… Would you do the same for me?" Nile asked as her eyes met Joe's. 

Joe's eyes widened in surprise and then he smiled and nodded. "It would be an honor."

Nile smiled back and the last of the ache in her chest released. She never needed to stop loving her first family and her new family would always support that love. 

The sun broke through the grey mist and Nile's heart was content.


	4. J/N - Words that Need to be Spoken

Nicky woke suddenly, unsure what had pulled him out of sleep. It was still dark outside and he hadn't had a nightmare. Then it registered that the bed behind him was cold and empty.

Over the past few weeks—after Merrick and Booker and Copley—Nicky had only fleetingly noticed that Joe had begun separating himself. He stayed back when they walked and kept out of conversations unless directly addressed. Nicky had been so distracted by Andy and Nile that he let himself believe Joe was only taking extra time to adjust to having Nile with them. Now, Nicky was starting to realize his mistake.

Joe was so outwardly explosive in his joy and his anger that it was easy to forget how deeply his emotions truly ran. Nicky was more pragmatic and able to channel his negative thoughts to something useful, like caring for Andy or training Nile. Joe tended to internalize and often allowed his emotions to swirl into a dark maelstrom that was difficult to escape without help. 

Nicky stayed in bed for another minute, but the house remained still and quiet. He slipped out from under the blankets and out of the bedroom. He passed the empty bathroom as he walked through the hall, then down the stairs into the small living room. The remnants of the fire they'd lit in the fireplace provided just enough light for Nicky to see Joe's sketchbook sitting open in front of the hearth. He stepped closer to crouch over the book and flipped through several pages, all of them blank. Joe never sketched when he was upset, unwilling to bring his darkest thoughts onto the paper. 

The barest sound reached Nicky's ears and drew his attention to the far corner of the room. He stood and turned on the small lamp, unwilling to have this conversation in the dark. Nicky mirrored Joe's sitting position, their backs to the wall and knees up for their wrists to rest on. Nicky sat close enough so that their sides touched, but was still able to turn and watch Joe's face. Joe continued to stare, unseeing, in front of him. 

"Will you tell me what's troubling you?" Nicky asked.

Joe took a long breath that sounded painful and constricted to Nicky. 

"I'm afraid," Joe answered. 

"What of?"

"Of loving you so deeply. Of what I'd become if I lost that love."

The words and the pang it sent through Nicky's heart were both familiar and unexpected. It had been so long since either of them had been conflicted about their love. 

"Why?" Nicky prodded.

"Booker—" Joe choked on the word and his face twisted in pain. For a moment, Nicky wished that Booker were here so he could see the devastation his betrayal was still causing.

"We cannot understand what drove Booker to do what he did," Nicky reasoned calmly.

"But I _can_. I can understand because I am no different than Booker."

"No," Nicky replied with vehemence. "I don't believe that despite what you've convinced yourself to think."

"If you hadn't woken from that last shot—" 

"If you lost me, you would suffer and never be the same," Nicky conceded, "but you would not turn to cruelty or sacrifice the others."

"How do you know?"

"You forget that my love for you runs just as deep. I know you better than I know myself. I know your heart. I know that you were the first to offer your hand to me in peace. You were also the first to offer me your friendship and then your love. After all the bad we have seen in our lives, I watch you, time and again, lead first with gentleness and I love you more each day because of it."

Joe shook his head. "I am also capable of brutality."

"Yes. So am I. So is Andy. There is always some brutality in fighting. But we have always tried to do some good with what we fought for. That does not make us evil or cruel."

"And Booker?"

Nicky sighed because he hadn't spent any energy trying to understand Booker's actions.

"I cannot explain Booker," Nicky replied honestly.

"He saw our love as salt to his open wounds."

"That is his failing, not ours. We never flaunted ourselves and I will not denounce you to soothe his selfish heart."

Joe finally looked at Nicky, eyes wide with surprise. "You're angry."

"Of course I'm angry. I watched you be stabbed, tortured, and killed several times in that lab. Did you think I wasn't?"

"You didn't act as if…"

"I didn't want to add to Andy's conflict and I've never shown my emotions as outwardly as you. You... do know I love you?" Nicky hated how the end was posed as a question.

"I never doubt it," Joe answered sincerely. He reached out to take Nicky's hand and Nicky's shoulders sagged with relief at the action. 

"Then never doubt that your pain won't leave me unaffected." Nicky was beginning to see what had started Joe down this path of self doubt. "I'm sorry if you thought you were alone in your anger. Does it help knowing I feel the same?"

"Yes. I… I thought maybe I was wrong to be angry."

" _We_ have every right to be angry. No matter his reasoning or his pain, there is no excuse for Booker's betrayal. He knew neither of us were looking for death, even if he thought Andy was."

Joe nodded and then sighed. "I want to understand how Booker could do what he did."

"We may never understand."

"I understand his despair. I _felt_ it in that moment before you woke from that bullet."

"But knowing you could feel the same does not make you a reflection of Booker's failings."

"I'm not as sure."

Nicky turned to face Joe fully and gripped Joe's hand in both of his. "I do not lie to you. Do you believe me when I tell you that I've seen nothing in our long lives together that makes me think you're like Booker? And most definitely not like Merrick or Keane or any of the other truly cruel men we've known?"

"I believe you."

"Are you still afraid?"

"Yes, I am."

"I am too," Nicky confessed. "Not of our love, never that. If I lost you… I am most afraid of forgetting, in my grief, of what it feels like to be loved by you."

Joe looked at Nicky as if the thought had never occurred to him. Their fears were different, but rooted in the same place, in the same love. Nicky was confident that neither of them would be willing to discard their love just to keep the fear at bay.

"As always, we are two sides of the same coin," Nicky said and Joe smiled at the sentiment. "It also seems that we still have things to learn after all our years together. I should have voiced my own fears and anger. You are never alone, my love."

"I'm sorry for worrying you."

"I'm sorry for forgetting how deeply you take things within yourself. I've been neglecting you."

Joe shook his head. "The others needed you and it helps you to care for them."

Nicky smiled at Joe's understanding and leaned forward to give his cheek a kiss. "That is no excuse. However, it is repairable. You should get cleaned up while I pack our things."

"Are we switching safehouses?" Joe asked as they both stood. Dawn was just starting to break outside. 

"No. You and I are going away for a bit."

"But—"

Nicky kissed Joe to stop whatever he was about to say. "We _both_ need it. Andy is fine. Nile is good for her. They're safe here. We won't go too far or be gone for too long."

"You're sure?"

"Yes, I'm very sure." Nicky hadn't realized how much he wanted time to themselves until he'd said it. He'd been neglecting himself as much as he had Joe. 

Joe smiled and leaned forward to give Nicky a lingering kiss before he moved away.

They were close enough to head to the sea, Nicky decided as he watched Joe pick up his neglected sketchbook and head upstairs. Both of them had been born near a coast and the water still had a way of lifting their spirits. Even if Nicky couldn't find them a boat to rent, he'd find a house near enough to the shore that they could let the sounds and smells of the water soothe their souls. 

Andy would understand Joe and Nicky's need to be on their own. Nile had been helping Andy find new life, but Nicky and Joe needed time to reaffirm their faith in themselves and each other. Nicky and Joe would return in a few weeks with Joe's sketchbook full of pictures—the small cabin with a leaky roof, the sailboat they'd rented for a few days, a family of stray cats, the view out their bedroom window, and a multitude of Nicky. 

Back together, the four of them would cement their friendship and find their way to a new peace. 


	5. J/N & A & N - Words We Share

Andy put a restraining hand on Nile's arm and Nile instantly went on alert. She widened her stance on the wooden walkway and looked around quickly, trying to determine which direction the threat was coming from. She glanced at Andy, expecting her to look equally tense. Instead, Andy looked relaxed, almost serene, and she had a fond smile on her lips.

Nile followed Andy's gaze down to the small strip of beach below the cliffside. Nicky was chasing Joe around on the sand and Nile could just barely hear Joe's laughter over the sound of crashing waves. She checked and yup, Nicky looked to be soaking wet. If Nile were to guess, Joe had lured Nicky down to the beach with a promise he'd stay dry and then had promptly pushed him in the water.

Andy let out a quiet laugh when Nicky finally launched himself at Joe and sent them both tumbling into the water. The two men wrestled among the waves for a bit, each trying to dunk the other, before Nicky ended their little battle by pulling Joe close and kissing him.

"Let's take the long way back to the house," Andy advised and turned to walk back the way they'd come. 

Nile took one last look back over her shoulder. Joe and Nicky were now further up the sand, looking a lot like that scene in "From Here to Eternity." Nile smiled and jogged to catch up with Andy.

Andy and Nile walked along the dunes in silence for a while before Nile decided to ask a question that had been percolating since she rescued them from Merrick. 

"Does it bother you? Joe and Nicky being so in love?"

"They're not usually like that in front of us," Andy said, as if Nile had been the one bothered. "They didn't know we were watching."

" _I'm_ not bothered by it," Nile was quick to defend herself.

"Oh... You want to know if I'm like Book."

Nile shrugged and Andy let out a sigh that sounded like it contained all the years she'd been alive. 

"I know we said it was easy for them, finding each other so fast, but it doesn't mean their lives were or are easy to live. Especially with what we do."

"I'm not sure I understand," Nile admitted.

"Imagine loving someone as much as they do and watching them die, again and again. Imagine knowing that over a dozen of those first deaths were at your hands. Now imagine learning that the immortality you thought kept you safe can leave you with no warning, that you never know which death could be their last. Imagine fearing separation more than anything else and then losing someone close to you in a way more horrific than death."

Nile shuddered and Andy sighed again. 

"At least I've known what it's like to survive alone," Andy added. "Their lives have always been intertwined and yet they risk each other over and over to do what good they can in this thankless world."

Andy stopped walking and took a steadying breath. She looked away for a moment and then turned back to Nile. 

"And have you noticed how easily their love extends to us?" Andy asked. 

Nile nodded because she had already experienced how Joe and Nicky doted on them both. They seemed to genuinely delight in doing small and big acts to make Nile and Andy happy. 

"I wouldn't have survived losing Quynh if Joe and Nicky hadn't been there. They would have searched forever, but I was the one who decided I couldn't risk them too. I know they keep track of the big treasure divers because they still have hope. They've always had hope even when all we've seen is despair. They don't bother me, Nile, they _amaze_ me."

Nile had to swallow past a lump in her throat. She knew what it felt like now, the pain of dying and coming back. She also remembered how it had felt when her dad died and how it had devastated her mom. Nile thought about how free Joe and Nicky were with hugs or words of encouragement and felt a sudden, visceral anger towards Booker. 

"We all have to move past that," Andy advised, properly reading the expression on Nile's face. "Joe and Nicky wouldn't want you angry at Booker on their behalf."

Nile knew Andy was right and tried to school her features into neutrality. Andy laughed, shook her head, and started walking again. 

"We gotta work on your poker face, kid."

When Nile and Andy made it back to the house, Joe and Nicky were cleaned up and working together on dinner—Andy's favorite seafood bisque and fresh French bread. For dessert, they surprised Nile with a bonfire on the beach and s'mores because she'd mentioned liking them a few weeks earlier. 

Nile told them the story of the time her family had gone camping and she'd eaten her first s'more. Her parents had slow danced in the firelight and Nile still remembered how good it made her feel to see how much they loved each other, because she knew that love extended to her and her brother. Nile told them that seeing other couples in love always reminded her of that night. 

Joe reached out to give Nile a one-armed hug for sharing a memory of her family and Nicky's eyes were full of fondness as he looked at them from across the fire. When Nile stole a glance at Andy, she hid her smile in a bite of s'more and nodded at Nile in approval. 

A few days later, Nile watched a sleepy-eyed Joe shuffle into the kitchen while Nicky was making breakfast. Joe gave Nicky a soft hug from behind as he rested his forehead on Nicky's shoulder, clearly still mostly asleep. Nicky turned his head, kissed Joe's temple, and then nudged him toward the coffee. As Joe moved away, Nicky plated the food and brought them out to the table. He placed a plate in front of Andy and Nile, absently dropping a kiss on top of each of their heads as he went. When Joe took his seat at the table, Andy flicked a piece of tomato off her plate toward Joe's forehead—her way of showing affection. Joe caught the tomato and grinned as he popped it in his mouth while Nicky tutted at their antics. Nile laughed, engulfed by the same happiness she'd felt that long ago night by a campfire. 

After all, love was meant to be shared. 


End file.
